Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

How To Jump Start a Dead Car Battery

Here are few tips and instructions on jump starting a dead battery. First things first, though. You need to inspect the dead battery. If you see any damage such as leaks or cracks.
DO NOT go any further. Put away the jumper cables and call a wrecker. A damaged battery can explode and really hurt you.
If the battery looks ok, then park the cars close enough to each other for the jumper cables to reach and shut off both engines. Now make sure the terminals are not caked with corrosion. Try to clean them off as best you can. A corroded terminal will make it a lot harder to jump the battery.
At this point you are ready to hook up your jumper cables to the batteries.
(Normally, the red cable is (+) positive and black cable is (-) negative)

They must be connected in this exact order:
1. Connect one end of the (+) positive cable to the (+) positive terminal on the dead battery.
2. Connect the other end of the (+) positive cable to (+) positive terminal on the good battery.
3. Connect one end of the (-) negative cable to (-) negative terminal on the good battery.
4. Connect the other end of the (-) negative cable to the engine block of the dead car.

You are ready to start up the good car’s engine and charge the dead battery. First of all, shut off all electrical equipment on the good car. (head lights, radio, etc.)
Let the good car’s engine run for a minute or so before you attempt to start the dead one. Now get in the dead car and attempt to crank it. If it sounds like it wants to start but won’t quite get there, give it some more time and try again. When the dead has started and is running, it is time to remove the jumper cables. This must be done in reverse order.

Here are the steps:
1. Disconnect (-) negative cable from the engine block on dead car.
2. Disconnect (-) negative cable from the (-) negative terminal on the good battery.
3. Disconnect (+) positive cable from the (+) positive terminal on the good battery.
4. Disconnect (+) positive cable from the (+) positive terminal on the dead battery.

After the dead car has been running for a while, turn it off. See if will start on its own. If it does, you should be ok on the drive home. If not, jump it again and have someone follow you home. When you arrive at home, you can then put a battery charger on it all night and see if it cranks in the morning.

by: Jason Mille

How To Maintain Your Car Battery

One of the most important parts of your car is the battery. If it doesn't work, your car doesn't start. And, in the winter that is even more true than in the summer.
The electrical power produced by the battery is used by the cars ignition system for cranking the engine. The car's battery also may power the lights and other accessories.
Have the battery tested on a regular basis, including when the car is serviced, before long trips and after it's been recharged.

Here are some things you can do yourself to prevent being stranded on a cold winter day.
Know how old your battery is. To see how old your battery is look for a small decal on the battery. A letter with a number should be there. The letter indicates the month, starting with "A" for January, "B" for February, and so on. I is skipped so December is "M". The number represents the year with "9" standing for 1999, "0" for 2000, etc. so D2, would be April, 2002. F5 would be June, 2005. Experts usually advise getting a new battery when a battery is four years old.

Watch for corroded terminals or battery posts, loose clamps, loose cables, or a leaking or damaged battery case. Look for dirty, wet, corroded or swollen cables and battery top.
Look for a loose or broken alternator belt. If the alternator fails the battery might also need to power the vehicle's entire electrical system until repairs can be made.

Keep jumper cables in the trunk of your car for emergency start up. Make sure the cables are free of rust and corrosion and that there are no exposed wires before using them.
Park your car in a garage whenever possible.

If you must leave your car outside all day, go out and start the car two or three times a day and let the car run for a few minutes to warm up. This will help the car to start more easily when you are ready to go. When temperatures are below zero Fahrenheit avoid leaving the car out for extended periods of time.

For more tips on keeping your battery in excellent working condition visit: http://www.apluswriting.net/gasmiles/batterycare.htm
by: Marilyn Pokorney

Your Guide to Battery Types

Every mobile electronic device we own runs on battery power, yet we take batteries for granted - at least until they run out of juice. No matter what kind of device battery - laptop battery, cell phone battery, camcorder battery, remote control battery - you need, it's helpful to know the various kinds of battery types and their uses.

Gel Battery - A gel battery is also known as a sealed lead acid (SLA) battery, and its distinguishing feature is that it doesn't have to be kept upright in order to work. An SLA battery continues to perform in extreme conditions, such as hot temperatures, or under vibration. SLA batteries are often used in wheelchairs, scooters, and uninterruptible power sources. It's best to keep an SLA battery charged, or to charge it more often than you would other types of batteries.

NiMH - NiMH stands for Nickel Metal Hydride and is the battery of choice for many cell phones, camcorders, digital cameras, GPS systems, PDAs, and other personal electronics. NiMH batteries are also used in hybrid cars. An NiMH is a rechargeable battery that is similar to a nickel cadmium (NiCd) battery, but that has double or triple the capacity of a NiCd battery. It's best not to overcharge NiMH batteries.

NiCd - NiCd stands for Nickel Cadmium, and is a type of rechargeable battery commonly used in toys, electronic devices, and power tools. Although some people prefer NiMH batteries to NiCd batteries, a NiCd battery provides virtually the same level of voltage throughout its lifetime, and costs less than an NiMH battery.

LiION - LiION stands for Lithium Ion, and is one of the newest rechargeable batteries. Although they are more expensive than other types of rechargeable batteries, LiION batteries have more capacity and are often used in wireless phones, camcorders, and notebook computers. The downside of LiION batteries is that the length of their life commences from the date of manufacture, rather than from the number of times the battery is charged and discharged. It's best to regularly charge LiION batteries and store used batteries in the refrigerator. (Allow them to warm to room temperature before using them, though.)

Alkaline - Alkaline batteries are not rechargeable with a battery charger, but offer a large current over a long period of time. These batteries are often used in CD players and portable radios.

Carbon Zinc - Carbon Zinc batteries are known for their reliability over long periods of time in low-drain situations, such as for garage door openers or clocks. A Carbon Zinc battery is not rechargeable.

by: Chris Robertson

Explain about the kids..?!?!

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.
Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.
She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit.

So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights.
She looked down... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device... a vibrator!
Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.

She went completely ballistic.
You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:
I'll explain the toy . . . you explain the kids."

Photo of Esplanade Theater - Singapore

This photo was taken from Marina Mandarin Hotel - Singapore by me...
7 September 2006
Panasonic-Lumix FZ30

Photography And The Cell Phone

Nearly every modern cell phone (telefone celular) has a camera feature. Though they are far away from modern age digital camera, cell phone cameras can still be used to produce good quality photographs.

The cell phone (telefone celular) has some additional features that are not yet available on digital cameras and so may even be able to provide some advantages. The best way to obtain quality photographs is to understand the specifications that are available on these devices, enabling you to make an informed decision when choosing your mobile product, ensuring that it meets your requirements.

The size of the cell phone (telefone celular) screen will affect the quality of viewing on your phone only. It will not affect the quality of your photograph when downloaded to your computer. However, the pixels that your cell phone camera uses will affect the quality of the image a great deal. The minimum resolution you should use is 1.0 mega pixels if photographic images are an important feature for you.

Higher resolution of 3.0 mega pixels and up is available on current cell phones (telefone celular). The higher the number of pixels, the better quality the photographic image will be when reproduced. This is because the pixels are the amount of dots used to create the image; the more that are used, the less the image will break up when enlarged.

The memory size of your device will directly affect the number of photographs that you can store. This will affect your output, and also give you less scope for getting that perfect shot. Your device will detail how much memory it contains, and this amount is usually very low, to store only a few photographic images.

However, the memory capacity can be supplemented by purchasing a memory card that is compatible with your cell phone (telefone celular). The largest currently available is as much as 2 Gigabytes, which can store large numbers of photographs. The exact number will vary as the number of pixels directly affects the amount of memory used. The settings of your picture image can often be changed also. The picture quality is better the higher the resolution you choose. Lower resolutions take up less memory and so can be useful if you just want to send images to friends and family, if are running low on space or if the quality is not of importance.

It is also important that you can store your pictures. If you purchase a cell phone memory card (telefone celular), make sure that it also be compatible with your computer or that it can be hooked up to a USB that is computer compatible. Your device should also come with a USB that you can use to download your pictures. This enables you to clear your cell phone regularly, maximising the use of the camera feature. Once stored, your photographs can be manipulated using programs such as Photoshop, as with any other photographic image.

A major advantage of a camera is that it can be used to send pictures direct to friends and family with a compatible cell phone (telefone celular). These can be sent via multi media messages, which although relatively expensive are now appearing in cell phone contracts as part of a package.

Digital photos can also be sent via email if the cell phone (telefone celular) is internet enabled. Any photographic image can be sent for free via infra red or Bluetooth to another compatible device. This is an excellent way of sharing images, without the need for downloading first, which is both fast and functional. This means cell phones do have an advantage over other photographic devices to a degree, as they do not yet have this feature.

by: Roberto Sedycias

Beginning In Photography: Choosing A Camera

You’ve been snapping away with your nifty little point and shoot camera for a while now and you’ve discovered you really like taking pictures and want to get more creative and have more control over your photos. Naturally the next step is to upgrade to an SLR camera. But which one? There is a ridiculous number of products out there with all sorts of buttons and dials that do this or that. This article attempts to give a brief overview of the things that are actually important when considering which camera to buy.

Firstly, let’s dispel one of the most common myths associated with upgrading equipment. Buying a new camera will not make you a better photographer. Repeat: it will NOT make you a better photographer. Not instantly, not in 2 years time, not in 10 years. What will make you a better photographer is you. Your willingness to learn and develop your skills. Sure a high end camera will give you more control over your image making, but that’s just it; its you controlling the camera, and therefore the end image. Ok, now that we’re on the same track, a few things to think about.

How many megapixels do I need?
We are going to assume that you are looking at digital cameras here, although I should point out that there are some excellent film cameras around at much less expense. So don’t discount film altogether (it’s not dead just yet!). But to answer the question, we first need to answer another: What do you want to do with your photos? If you only want to post your photos on the web, e-mail them or make small prints to put in a photo album, the resolution you need for this is quite low. To give you an idea, a camera with 2 megapixels will create an image that can make a good quality 6 x 4 print (standard photo album size). Most entry level SLR cameras start at around 6 megapixels. Therefore if this is all you want to do with your images, the amount of megapixels does not need to be a major concern. If, however, you want to make large sized prints, you may need a higher resolution camera. While entry level SLR’s often produce very good quality prints up to a certain size, more pixels gives you the freedom of being able to enlarge even further. While image software programs can increase the size of your photos they will lose some quality. Starting with a larger image means that fewer pixels are added by the program and less quality is lost.

Is brand important?
Not as important as some would have you think. While photographers will continue to debate the Nikon vs Canon issue, my belief is that it is a moot point. Both companies produce some excellent products and some pretty ordinary ones. What should be foremost in your mind is build quality. How many plastic parts does the camera have versus metal ones? Metal parts can be replaced, while plastic parts are usually set into a mould and cannot be. Potentially this could mean the difference between having to buy a new part or a new camera a few years down the track. Check how the camera feels in your hand. If it feels solid and sturdy, it probably is. Quality between brands doesn’t differ greatly until you get into the higher end cameras. This is where Nikon and Canon come to the fore and other brands that don’t target this market drop off. However if you decide you don’t need a higher end camera, don’t discount other brands.

What about features?
Cameras come with all sorts of different modes and features. Some of them seem to be included for no other reason than to be a selling point for that particular model. It takes a little research to discern which are actually going to be useful. There are, however, some that you should factor into your considerations. Firstly, what mode settings does the camera have? Many entry level SLR’s have similar settings to point and shoot cameras. I.e. Portrait, landscape, low light etc. While these make things easy, the point of moving up to an SLR camera is to gain more control over your photos. You will never gain the control you want without learning how to use a camera in full manual mode.

Other features, such as a built if flash or cable release socket, may be important to you depending on the type of photography you want to do. If you like to shoot portraits, a built in flash can be a huge help in lighting shadows. If you are interested in landscape photography, you will at some point want to set you camera up on a tripod to capture a low light scene. Using a cable release allows you to press the shutter without actually touching the camera, removing the camera shake that blurs a picture.

One final consideration.

This is possibly the most important of all. Make sure the camera you choose is comfortable and easy to use. Check that you can reach all the buttons easily while shooting and that the dial and menu configurations are logical. This allows you to learn your gear easily so that you can concentrate on the most important thing: taking pictures.

by: Mark Eden

Ketentuan Fiskal LN - Indonesia

Source: www.pajak.go.id